The Seven Hundred Sixty Seventh Mamodo
by MilesTailsPrower-007
Summary: Yes, you read that right. Zatch Bell parody. When a strange new mamodo is thrown into Japan via questionable means, it's up to Zatch and Kiyo to do something about it. That is, if they're still in character... [Lighthearted fun. Reviews appreciated!]
1. Enter: The Out Of Character

_**Somewhat Lengthy (although relevent) Author's Note: **Hello! This is a parody. It's not based on any sole piece of fanfiction. It's merely a highly exaggerated pun version of a type of fanfiction in general. It's meant to be funny, and not to offend anyone whatsoever, so please don't worry. While I'm here, I might as well mention that both Tails and NiGHTS (yes, that's how it's supposed to be spelled) are exsisting characters in other series... video games, in fact. Tails is from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, and NiGHTS hails from the game NiGHTS iNTO Dreams. Check 'em out on Google Image Search if you're unfamiliar with either. Take care, and happy reading:)_

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess named Ma—err, oops, wrong story. Let's start again, shall we?

One day (a Tuesday, in fact), Kiyo was mindlessly ambling through the park with Zatch in tow. It was relatively quiet. There was a teachers' convention at his school today, and thus he was class-free for the day. Lovely. Now he could be prodded at and bothered by Zatch all day. In fact, Kiyo was in such a bad mood on this particular Tuesday that it had taken Zatch a full hour and ten minutes of whining to get him to go anywhere. And so now they were trudging along… or at least Kiyo was.

"Isn't it a nice day, Kiyo?" mused Zatch happily.

"Yeah. Nice. Whatever," mumbled Kiyo, who was far from anything that one might remotely consider a good mood. And of course, this bad mood had come upon him for no actual reason.

"And best of all, no Naomi..!" See, Naomi, who usually prowled the park (and harassed Zatch), had conveniently fallen into a Plot Hole and was nowhere to be seen. Disregard the fact that she could be at school. Zatch stopped and tugged Volcan 300 out of his pocket. "Volcan says that the world is going to be safe from destruction today!" he said cheerily.

"Yeah. Nice. Whatever." Trudge, trudge.

This feeble attempt at conversation might have gone on much longer than it did, except that something decided to happen. Out of nowhere, a strange vortex opened in the air in front of them, swirling with a multitude of colors. This strange vortex was, in fact, Version 1 of the infamous Plot Hole. And from this swirling vortex of holey plotness tumbled two figures and a book. Kiyo stared with disinterest as the two characters scrambled to untangle themselves from each other. In a moment, a sort of purple lanky jester-esque being with long legs and a ridiculous smile got up, hovering a good six inches off the ground. Next to it stood a short critter, probably just over two feet in height. With its orange fur, twin tails and white gloves, this fox looked like it belonged in a video game or cartoon. Kiyo honestly couldn't tell which was supposed to be the mamodo.

Zatch protectively stuck Volcan back into his pocket and looked tentatively at the two strangers. "Hello," he said uncertainly. "I'm Zatch Bell. Are you here to fight? Or will your mamodo be a good king?"

The small fox bent down and picked up the spell book. It was probably the most ridiculous one yet. Instead of being one solid color, it was many. In fact, it was of a rainbow hue. The fox dusted it off and tucked it under his arm before turning to Zatch, who was almost parallel to him in height. "I'm Tails," he started easily. "This is my mamodo, NiGHTS." (Note: No language barrier.)

Zatch looked way up to see the mamodo's face. It was smiling in a warm and kindly way, and sure enough, a vertical line ran down each cheek from the eye. Its soft features made it look female, but the purple outfit looked somehow masculine. The figure was… indeterminate. It sunk to a kneeling position before Zatch and gave him a friendly pat on the head. It seemed nice, anyhow.

"Hello," said Zatch, feeling better about the situation already.

"NiGHTS can't talk," Tails explained calmly. "But… we aren't here to fight, no."

"Well, that's good!" said the blond haired boy brightly. "Then we can be friends! If your mamodo promises to be a kind ruler, we have to reason to fight!"

Suddenly, what appeared to the semi-transparent figure of a balding middle-aged man wearing a suit and bowler hat walked out of nowhere. Kiyo, who was getting annoyed by all the random appearances, scowled. "And who are you?" he asked. "Did you come from that… swirling thing?"

"You mean the Plot Hole?" asked the strange semi-transparent man. "Nope! I came out of you, actually. But I'm here to see that guy." He pointed dramatically at Tails, who blinked in response. "See, I'm the Out Of Character!"

"The Out Of Character," Kiyo repeated flatly. "How does that even make sense?"

"Like this," said the Out of Character. He wandered over to Tails and disappeared into him. The small cartoonish figure gave something of a jolt, and his white gloved hand tightened around his spell book.

"Let's fight," he proposed ominously all of a sudden.

"B- but… you just said you weren't here to fight!" Zatch argued.

"Who cares what I said!" Tails shot threateningly. So that's what the Out of Character did. "Fight! Now!" He looked up at Kiyo. "Ready your spell book, human!" He whipped open the rainbow colored book, flipping through the pages. Before Kiyo even had time to open his book, Tails' book had already been consumed by an inner glow. He was casting a spell..! Zatch darted out in front of Kiyo and flung his arms open to widen his area of defense.

"GLISUDO!"

Kiyo and Zatch both flinched. No pain. No force. No status effects. Kiyo dared to half-open one eye. NiGHTS had extended one hand to them, and from the palm, a jet of rainbow colored sparkles was shooting forward.

"What's it doing?" asked Zatch, who had dared to open his eyes as well.

"It's… sparkling, I think."

"Fear me, infidels!" boomed Tails, who sounded utterly ridiculous on account of the Out of Character lurking in him. "I will defeat you, and my mamodo will be crowned king..! …err, queen. Or… uhm…" The Out of Character half stepped out of him, giving him sufficient time to shoot a desperate somewhat in-character glance at Kiyo. "Help me out, here!"

"Uhm… monarch?" put in Kiyo.

"Yes," replied Tails. "Monarch. Thanks."

"No problem."

The Out of Character fully stepped back in. "BUT NOW WE DUEL. ERR… FIGHT!" Pages turned quickly. "The second spell… Poporuk!" NiGHTS' head popped right off his body, sailed a good ten feet upward, and plunked onto the ground next to Zatch, who looked somewhat disturbed. Kiyo raised his eyebrows. Tails' face went red, and he sheepishly walked over to reclaim his mamodo's head. He handed it back to the floating decapitated body, which promptly replaced it back atop its shoulders.

"NiGHTS doesn't have a neck, does he?" Kiyo asked flatly.

"Nope… no wrists, either." Silence. He cleared his throat. "Back to the fight!"

"Oh yeah," thought Kiyo. "This is actually supposed to be a fight. Somehow." Feeling a tad bit guilty, he pulled out the red spell book and flipped it open. Using zaker against these guys would be like bullying Kanchome. These two were equally as useless. His eyes ran up and down the purple clad jester again. It was tall. Taller than he was, anyhow, and more than twice as tall as its partner. It was still smiling kindly. It didn't strike Kiyo as being very young… wait…

"Aren't the mamodo sent to Earth supposed to be children?" he asked aloud. "Because that really doesn't look much like one."

Tails pouted and hugged the leg of his mamodo of indeterminate gender. "Alright, so it's of indeterminate age, too," he mumbled in NiGHTS' defense. "It's not like it had a choice!"

"This is getting ridiculous," Kiyo sighed, closing the spell book. "Let's go, Zatch."

"B- but.. you haven't cast a single spell in retaliation!" Tails protested.

"I didn't need to," said the other flatly. "Come and find us when you've got some useful spells. I don't like picking on newbies."

"I'm not a newbie!" Tails cried, but Kiyo was already walking in the other direction with Zatch at his heel. "I can fight you! I have other spells! Wait! Please..? Oh come on..!" The Out of Character stepped fully out of him with a yawn.

"Well," he said. "That was boring. You being Out of Character didn't even help you win a battle. Better luck next time!" And off he went, wandering into the sunset with his semi-transparent form. "Another day, another plot hole!"

Tails sighed. "Lovely. Just perfect…" Now how were they supposed to win?

To Be Continued. Possibly. XD


	2. Out Of Character Megumi's Plot Device

_**Author's Note: **Ah! Incredibly pointless chapter number two! Sorry I was slow to update. There will be more ridiculous stuff in the next chapter, I hope. :P_

_Thank you for reading, and I really appreciate the reviews! Take care!_

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Another delightfully sunny day came about. This day was particularly delightful, in fact, because Kiyo had actually found something remotely meaningful to do with his day. Mega pop star Megumi and her mamodo, Tia, were going to meet him and Zatch in the park. For what reason? That was sort of undefined. They'd probably just sit around and exchange idle prattle, but it was still something nice to do with someone else. But of course, he was dragged out of bed at quarter after five in the morning by over-enthusiastic Zatch, was very tired, and ended up oversleeping by ten minutes to make up for it. Woo.

Meanwhile, Tia and Megumi were aimlessly wandering around, waiting for their friends.

"I wonder what's keeping them?" Megumi asked worriedly. "You don't think they got into a battle or something, do you?"

"Nah. Kiyo's just slow." Tia walked ahead, her bright hair shining in the morning sunshine. "Besides, they have to show up becaaaaaaaa----!" And she fell into a Plot Hole (Version 8.0). Megumi looked startled, but that only lasted for a moment, since the confusion was also devoured by the Plot Hole. Because Plot Holes are never complete without their lovely friend the Out Of Character, along came the semi transparent middle aged slightly balding man, complete with suit and bowler hat.

"Lovely day, isn't it?" he said in his agitatingly cheery voice. "It's an especially lovely day for the Plot Device." Before Megumi could ask what that was, she felt herself jolt as the Out Of Character stepped into her. The Plot Device appeared out of a conveniently placed Plot Hole.

"Now," said Out Of Character Megumi, "as soon as my dear Kiyo gets here, we can get our wedding arranged!" Just then, poor slightly disgruntled Kiyo was dragged into the park by overenthusiastic Zatch. "Kiyo!" she chirped in a sing-song voice, sweeping over to him. "Beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Euh… I guess…" mumbled Kiyo, who thereafter yawned.

"Isn't it an even _more_ beautiful day for arranging weddings?"

"Uhm, sure." Then it dawned on him. "Wait, you're getting married?"

"_We're_ getting married, silly!" she said in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"You are?" Zatch asked.

"We are?" put in Kiyo.

"Of _course_ we are, dear! Because, as a matter of fact, you confessed your undying love to me just the other night, under the starlit sky. I, of course, admitted I felt the same for you, too, and we became instantly engaged, although we've only known each other for about a month! Ah, it's true love!"

Kiyo and Zatch just stared at her. Kiyo had spent all night reading some book about the history of some ancient civilization, and konked out at about two o'clock in the morning. When had he been out on a date with Megumi? "Uhm… what?"

Sugary sweet Out Of Character Megumi looked somewhat put out. "Time to refresh your love for me, dear!" And she whipped out the Plot Device. It looked something like a needlessly high-tech and terribly inefficient (not to mention gaudy) car battery. In fact, it looked kind of stupid, but that didn't matter. It let out a pink glittery beam of light which consumed Kiyo and Zatch…

* * *

Tails and NiGHTS had finally earned themselves another set of spells. By means of Plot Device No. 6, they didn't actually have to use any spells to gain new ones, so they actually didn't know what any of these new ones did. Oh well. They had to be good, didn't they? I mean, what _isn't_ good about sparkling rainbow powers? They would find Kiyo and Zatch, kick their butts, win against miscellaneous other mamodo and then NiGHTS would be crowned, uhm, ruler of the mamodo world. NiGHTS, however, had recently picked up on the extremely non-threatening hobby of picking flowers. It now seemed even less scary than before, which was saying quite a bit, as it had previously been about as threatening as a newborn kitten.

"Come on!" Tails said pleadingly. "We have to go find Kiyo and Zatch and win that battle!" NiGHTS was in the process of cheerily stringing colored flowers into a necklace. It smiled kindly and drifted after its bookkeeper, flower necklace in hand. They walked for a good five minutes before encountering Megumi, who had just taken possession of Zatch's spell book, since her own mamodo had fallen into a Plot Hole, and the Plot Device had enabled her to read from others. Kiyo, by this point, was now hanging limply off her arm.

"Tails!" Zatch spluttered in surprise.

The fox gave a puzzled glance toward non-responsive looking Kiyo. "Uh, hi guys," he said. Kiyo stared forward mindlessly.

"Mermf," he said. Megumi laughed in a nauseatingly sugary way.

"Ahaha, isn't he just so sweet?" she asked pleasantly. "He's such a people person!"

"Err… right." Tails blinked. NiGHTS, who seemed intrigued by Megumi's honest beauty (which had somehow been multiplied tenfold by the Out Of Character), drifted curiously toward her, and after a moment's hesitance, dropped the flower necklace around her neck.

"Oh!" she said sweetly. "Thank you! Now I'll look more beautiful than ever when Zatch and I kick you back to the mamodo world!"

"We aren't really going to fight, are we?" Zatch whimpered. "They're not strong enough to fight us! They'll just get their book burned for no reason! Megumi, we can leave them alone…"

"Zatch, _no one_ is to be trusted in this battle," Out of Character Megumi cautioned. "Look at them! They're backstabbers, ready to steal your right to the throne!" She pointed dramatically at Tails and NiGHTS, who stood looking less than flashy. "Let the battle begin!"

Tails frantically flipped his book open. "It's now or never, NiGHTS. Let's show them what we've got!" The inside of the book glowed tremendously as he prepared their spell. His heart thudded nervously, and his hand on the book's binding trembled slightly. What kind of spell would it be? Attack? Defense..? "AMUSO!"

Flash! Everyone shielded their eyes from the light. They looked up to see NiGHTS… stretching its face into some awkward position. They all stared. That was supposed to be an attack? At least it appeared to be entertaining itself, if no one else. Tails sighed. "Onto the next spell!" Pages turned.

"BAO ZAKERGA!" shrieked Megumi before he could get a word in. Zatch's eyes rolled back, his mouth fell open, and out burst an enormous streak of electricity. It formed rapidly into a serpentine dragon, jaws wide, circling into the morning air. In a ferocious swipe, the electric dragon shot through the sky towards them, landing a horrendously accurate blow to NiGHTS, head on. The purple jester flew a good forty feet backwards, and skidded across the pathway. Zatch's eyes rolled back into position just in time to see the now battered NiGHTS somehow regain enough composition to get up. It wiped painfully at its bleeding jaw with the back of its hand. Zatch was horrified to tears.

"_Megumi_! What are we doing?" he cried, tears spilling freely from his golden eyes. "Can't you see they aren't strong enough to fight us? You're using my strongest spell on them when they don't even know how to fight back! Why? Why are we being like this? Why are _you _being like this?"

"Shut up and shoot!" Megumi snarled. "Do you want to be king or not?"

"I do!" Zatch protested. "But I wanted to be a kind king, and this isn't what a kind king does…"

"Deal with it! You can think about kindness once you have the throne!" Megumi's overly sweet demeanor seemed to have melted away to reveal a sour and rock-solid side. By this point, the annoying sugary version was starting to look desirable. She turned Zatch roughly in the direction of their opponents. NiGHTS' normally smiling face stared silently as it attempted to repair the damage on its peculiar form.

Tails looked flustered. They needed a retaliation, and fast. "Hang in there," he urged the mamodo towering over him. "They can't have anything worse than that up their sleeve. We've got to prove we aren't useless!" The book glowed immensely. "_Cielmadir_!" In an instant, the sky was filled with colored glitter, softly raining down upon the small group. Now looked like a genuinely ideal time to retreat…

A huge yawn cut everyone off. The Out of Character wandered out of Megumi. "Well, you're a boring lot. All you do is make angst and drama when I use you. I'm going to find someone more fun to manipulate, and the Plot Device is coming with me!" As the Plot Device could conveniently be stored anywhere at any time, he yanked it from Megumi's pocket, and walked away, cheerily whistling the Star Wars theme.

Megumi looked dazed. "W- what's going on?" She looked from face to face. "Why Zatch crying? Why do I have his spell book? Who are the two with the weird rainbow book and…" She paused. "..._why_ is Kiyo hanging off my arm like a zombie? Where's Tia?"

Tails stared at her. "Zatch is crying because you were being senseless with his spell book, we were supposed to be fighting you, and I don't know who the heck Tia is."

Kiyo's eyes refocused as the effects of the Plot Device wore off. "Whoa. My head feels all… empty or something." His eyebrows shot up as he noticed Zatch's tear-streaked cheeks. "Zatch! Are you alright?"

The little blonde mamodo rubbed the tears hurriedly from his eyes with his forearm. "I… I'm fine. I'm just glad Megumi is back to normal! She was horrible out of character." He looked over at NiGHTS, who smiled kindly at him, despite its injury. Zatch rushed over. "I'm sorry about what happened! I don't want to fight you. You're allowed to go."

"That's it?" Tails asked.

Zatch nodded. "I guess so. I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to. Good luck..!"

"Uh… okay," the fox said, as he was ushered out of the story and into a temporary Plot Hole. "I guess we'll be seeing you, or something, then. Thanks..!"

Kiyo blinked. "O…kay. I'm very, _very_ lost. Let's just pretend none of this ever happened and go eat yellowtail burgers." And off they went to eat yellowtail burgers at the fictional equivalent of McDonalds, completely oblivious to the other mayhem the Out of Character was causing… (Here, we cue the "Jaws" theme song.)

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To Be Continued. Again. _Maybe_. XD 


End file.
